Confessions of a Born Spectator
Here is a
poem by Ogden Nash who believes that a spectator can be as enthusiastic as a
player. Now let’s read and enjoy the poem ‘Confessions of a Born Spectator’.
One infant grows up and becomes a jockey,
Another plays basketball or hockey,
This one the prize ring hates to enter
That one becomes a tackle or center,
I am just glad as glad can be
That I am not them, that they are not me.
With all my heart I do admire
Athletes who sweat for fun or hire,
Who take the field in gaudy pomp,
And maim each other as they romp,
My limp and bashful spirit feeds
On other people’s heroic deeds.
Now A runs ninety yards to score,
B knocks the champion to the floor,
Cracking vertebrae and spines,
Lashes his steed across the line,
You’d think my ego it would please
To swap positions with one of these.
Well, ego it might be pleased enough,
But zealous athletes play so rough
They do not ever in their dealings
Consider one another’s feelings.
I’m glad that when my struggle begins ‘Twixt prudence and ego, prudence wins.
When swollen eye meets gnarled fist
When snaps the knee, and cracks the wrist,
When officialdom demands,
Is there a doctor in the stands?
My soul in true thanksgiving speaks
For this modest of physiques.
“Athletes, I’ll drink to you Or eat with you,
Or anything except compete with you, Buy tickets worth their radium,
To watch you gambol in the stadium, And reassure myself anew
That you are not me and I’m not you.
Frederic Ogden Nash (August 19, 1902 – May 19, 1971) was an American poet well known for his light verse, of which he wrote over 500 pieces. With his unconventional rhyming schemes, he was declared the country’s best-known producer of humorous poetry. His light verse even earned him a place on a postage stamp.